Money as Energy

My relationship with money is shifting. For years I’ve had this scarcity mindset around money. Afraid there wouldn’t be enough. Taking whatever crappy job I could get to make sure I had what I needed, but just barely. Quitting said crappy job to find something I love, but never really letting money in.

I find it fascinating that my relationship with money is so strained. I mean, I don’t have this relationship with say, shoes.

Wouldn’t that be weird? If I walked around (in shoes none the less) worried all the time.. “Oh my god, where will my next pair of shoes come from? What if these shoes wear out before I have another pair? What if I can’t find someone to buy shoes from? What if there are no more shoes for sale when I need them?”

That would be weird. And exhausting. And I can guarantee it would make it hard to enjoy the shoes I currently have, and I’d also likely walk by several cobblers while I was fretting about shoes and not even notice them.

I’ve been intellectually dealing with my relationship with money for YEARS and my intellect turns out to not really be prepared for the task, or very good at it. Sure, my intellect can balance a checkbook like nobody’s business and build excel spreadsheets to track the debt I have, every payment I make, and what the current balances are.

BUT — my intellect SUCKS at shifting this energy flow around money. Why? Because my intellect is running some very old software about money. Software that was installed in my grandparents during the depression. Software that says “in order to have money you have to have a reliable, steady job with healthcare and maybe a pension.” Well, if 2020 taught us anything, it taught us that there isn’t necessarily such a thing as a reliable, steady job.

The world is incredibly unpredictable. I am reminded of a Jurassic Park quote here (as I often am in life). “You never had control, that’s the illusion.” My human nervous system likes to think it can predict things and protect me. It wants to know what threats there are and try to anticipate them and make sure I am safe. What it doesn’t want to deal with is the reality that there could be an earthquake at any moment. A hurricane could destroy the house. Someone could fly a plane into the building I’m sitting in. Any manner of things could happen at any moment. This is a reality that is uncomfortable, and even as I write this I’m thinking about how I don’t want to freak anybody out.

But, if the security isn’t there, where is it? What if, who we TRULY are is untouchable. What if I, this spiritual being having a physical experience, am OK no matter what is happening. Broke, rich, sick, healthy, what if there is a me that cannot be touched?

What would that do to my relationship with money?

Quantum physics would tell us that all of it, everything in creation is energy. It all comes from the same source. It is all connected. So, if money is merely energy, what if I could play with that more? What if I allowed it to flow and change form.

The energy could start as universal energy. Flow through me. Flow out of me as my one of my gifts (coaching, writing, etc…). Flow to someone else. From from them back to me as money. Flow from me to an artisan jeweler to pay for a necklace as a gift to my sister. Transform with that jeweler into a necklace. Flow from her to my sister. Then that necklace will make whatever ripple in her life which will flow out as other energy to someone else.

What if, it is all energy. And when I don’t put my gifts out there, I block it. When I don’t let people pay me for my gifts, I block it. When I don’t spend the money on other things, I block it.

What if my focus was more on how the energy feels rather than the money itself? Do I feel generous? Or am I holding on? Am I trusting? Or am I terrified?

Then the question becomes, how do I let the energy flow again, not how do I make money.

My intellect is freaking out about this whole article. BUT YOU MUST GET A JOB — YOU MUST FIND WORK. It is still running old software. My intuition and heart are on a different page.

What would entice you to join us over here intellect? Can you imagine a life where you didn’t have to worry ALL the time about money? Where you didn’t have to spend all your energy trying to figure out where the money is coming from? Where you could use your incredible talents to build spreadsheets for people and create fantastic solutions to fascinating problems? Wouldn’t that be more fun.

I can feel my intellect relaxing. Like a dog who has just been given a bone. Settling in and calming down. We might be getting on the same page here. Curious to see what happens next….